I know what thats like. First I told some of my friends, then a few family members. I figured if they would all be okay with it that eventually, I would be able to tell my parents. Maybe you can try that. I hope you find a way to come out if you need anyone to talk to I'm here. And others are too.

Comment flagged by community

Welcome to the internet: Providing supportive communities for people to confide in for quite a while now.

Take your time. Don't come out to them until you know you are safe, but know that you are not alone and that there are a lot of people around online who can and will be a support group for you too. Don't forget other friends in real life as well, just again be careful for what might get back to your parents and keep safe.

I'm in a similar situation. I can't tell my family, and I go to a Catholic school so you know how it is. I have two accepting friends, at least, but before I ever told them it wasn't that hard to keep it quiet. I had my Internet friends. I could be myself around them. I never felt the need to come out.
I guess what I'm trying to say with this comment is that I don't understand why it's "killing you".

http://vocaroo.com/i/s05DPwAtVvBo

Edited 10 months ago

Make online friends, or go to those LGBTQ meetings/clubs you get now in a lot of towns.

So long as you don't purposefully tell people you're straight, there's nout wrong with not telling people you're gay either, is there. Kiss girlies on the fly, maybe?

I know that this is a hard situation to be in. You have to know the right place and time to come out. If your parents ever ask, you're ready. Don't let their opinions/views on life restrict you from achieving happiness. You have to live your life how YOU want to. Not how your family wants you to live. As you probably know, being gay is not a choice. These feelings about girls will probably never go away. Don't repress who you truly are on the inside! (:

Best wishes! <3

shit i'm gonna be yelled at for saying this, but...
i think its okay that you said that.
you didnt know, and its not your fault.

if anyone wants to argue that point against me, i'd like to see you try.
):D

Edited 10 months ago

Why the hell would you joke about a person's sexuality? Fuck you. You deserve to be in this situation.

Hey well if you want her to know tell her because even if she turns on you at least you told her and my best friends have told me their bi and I was perfectly fine even if they like me I still love them and I bet she will too

Can I just throw one thing in here, if her friend hadn't have told her she was a lesbian, would the OP be getting all this hate? I'm guessing you meant it as a joke, and although it was wrong of you to joke about that, I think we should assume that you didn't mean any harm. Idk. I think this is just an unlucky situation.

There's something fucking wrong with you if you did that. You're a nasty piece of shit, OP.

Thats a dick move....

Okay, I appear to be in the minority here, but if you honestly didn't know that she was a lesbian, then I don't think it was cruel to make a joke. I don't know if it's a cultural thing, but where I'm from, people make jokes like this all the time. It's even been reversed occasionally, with gay friends making a joke about being straight. I don't think the joke in itself was innately cruel, if you honestly didn't know, and it was said in a situation where it was easily recognised as a joke.
However, if you continue to lead her on and let her think that you feel the same way about her that she does about you, then this becomes a very cold-hearted situation. I'll assume that, seeing as you didn't know she was a lesbian, you are the first girl she's ever had any kind of romantic encounter with, so to find out that you've been lying all along will crush her. You have to tell her sooner rather than later, or the pain will just get worse. Make sure she knows that you still want to be her friend, and that you accept her just the way she is, but you are straight and nothing will happen between you. If she's angry with you, or wants to spend some time away from you, accept that too. You've hurt her, she'll need time to recover. Good luck.

I can't even muster a single once of sympathy for you. That's cruel and cold hearted.

Why the heck would you joke about that?

You horrible heartless bitch. I hope she never talks to you again, I wouldn't. How fucking dare you "joke" about that?! Ha fucking ha, you're so hilarious!

Any day now there will be a secret about some poor girl saying how utterly crushed she is by the fact that her best friend pretended to be a lesbian when she really is.

Is there any chance of her joking as well?

Why the hell would you joke like that. If she believed you, you were obviously not saying it jokingly. That is honestly horrible.

What da fuq?

I can kind of understand kidding about that, but generally at the end you say 'joking'. You have to tell her, and she will likely be too embarrassed to talk to you for a while.

You bitch. Do you have any clue how hard it is for people to come out. You heartless, worthless little bitch.

The hell is wrong with you? Normally I don't bring people down on here, and I support them, but what you did was incredibly stupid. That's not something you joke about.

WOW uncalled for.... Why would you joke about that in the first place? I would recommend telling her but you are probably going to lose her as a friend.

Why would you do that?

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you didn't know she felt that way or that she liked girls. Anyways, you have to tell her. Talk to her, tell her that your flattered that she feels this way about you and that you were only joking. It's a bad situation and wont end nicely. She will get hurt.

now shes gunna be broken hearted... im sorry, i usually defend people about their secrets and all... but in this case no. im sorry, that was wrong. just wrong. you dont play around with feelings.

WHY IN THE NAME OF MERLIN WOULD YOU JOKE WITH THAT?
WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY?
You're going to have to tell her, whether you have the heart or not, go search for it under your bed or something, but GO AND FETCH THAT HEART AND TELL HER THE TRUTH BEFORE THINGS GET OUT OF HAND.
Honestly, WHY did you say that? Was it a bet? Because that's just plain stupid.
Anyways, good luck with that.

-The Dreamer.

You probably made her so very happy and now it will just all come crashing back down. You need to tell her as soon as possible, the longer you wait the more your stupid decision will hurt her. Just fucking stupid.

Why would you KID about something like that?! I just don't understand. That's serious sh*t, man.

You're going to have to tell her.
I've gone out with people because I didn't have the guts to tell them no, and it ALWAYS ends bad. Even if you don't end up officially dating her, I don't see how that could ever work out for the better. She needs to know the truth, and if you're lucky, she might forgive you.

How could you ever joke around about something like that?

Who makes jokes like that?

Also, I can't imagine that many friendships could recover from something like this. Toying with someone, intentionally or not, is a grand way to really hurt them. You shouldn't hold it against her if she needs space when and if you tell her the truth.

For a second, I thought I was reading an FML.

There's no advice I can possibly give to help you. I'm sorry about your situation, but good luck.

Did you know she was a lesbian?

Wow. Well, there's obviously no way you could have seen that coming.

Just let her down easy; you have to tell her you were joking, but make it clear that you still want to be her friend and nothing will change between you. Then, make sure you keep that promise. She'll never forgive herself (or you) if you let things get all weird because of this.

EDIT: Rather than replying to everyone's comments, I'm just going to reply to you all right here. I don't understand how you can all think is so unacceptable. This is how I picture the situation:
OP: OMG, I love Rihanna. Her music is so awesome.
Friend: Really??? ME TOO! I have an extra ticket to her concert, wanna come?
OP: AHHH YES!! Have I mentioned I'm in love with you?!?

So the conversation could have obviously been about anything, but my point is that people say things like this literally ALL THE TIME. It's not inappropriate, it isn't offensive, and OP was not out of line in the slightest. There is no way she could have known her friend was actually in love with her.

Edited 10 months ago

There are some things that you just should not joke/lie about. Being in love with someone, is one of those things.

....*rages internally*

If you knew that she was lesbian or bi, that was a cruel thing you did; and I don't know what you should do... If you didn't know, you probably just need to tell her you were kidding.

Uhm....yes....because people die every day from sleeping in alleys.
How exactly is it you expect to die? Get shot in a bank robbery? Get run over by a car? Die of pneumonia? Die battling homeless people for food?

If you want to die, then do it yourself. Don't drag innocent people into this.
OR...you could just get your ass up and live the life you were given the chance to live.

Edited 10 months ago (2 times)

If I were completely heartless I would laugh when you just get horrifically raped and end up not dead, but living a much worse life than you live right now.

As it is, I'll just shake my head and feel a little guilty about this post.

Um...I hate to say the jerk-like thing I'm about to tell you, but you obviously don't want to die badly enough. Sleeping in alley wouldn't kill you anyway. Unless some random gang is feeling shitty and they want to beat you to death. But even then, that can't be the most pleasant way to die, and I doubt you'd want that to happen no matter how appealing death may be.
If you're being like that, get professional help. Suicidal thoughts aren't any good.

Edited 10 months ago (3 times)

Sleeping in an alleyway wont kill yourself unless there's a terrorist walking the streets. Don't kill yourself anyway. Just talk to your mother, school counsellor, psychiatric, therapist etc to help with your suicidal thoughts.

OP, sleeping in an alley isn't the best way to, uh, kill yourself. People don't just kill you in the streets, they could rape you or mug you. If you're really struggling with suicidal thoughts, sleeping in random alleys in NYC won't help, but getting professional help would. Just talk to your mom. You may not want to tell her you've been sleeping in alleys, but tell her about your struggle with suicidal thoughts. See if she gets you some help. If she won't listen, try your school counselor. Don't give in to those thoughts, try to get yourself out of that hole first.
Best of luck!

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0PIX0VNzl5u

Tell your parents this. Tell them how they're no more open minded than any other parents. I hope your parents realize this and get over themselves.

You still get to see your friends, right? Unless they go to another school. Maybe you should talk to them about it.

Edited 10 months ago

Comment flagged by community

I swear I will never understand those kinds of parents.
Not seeing your friends and being confined inside a house won't magically make you straight.

Well, we have a few choices here:
1) confront your parents (don't know how that will turn out)
2) say your coming out was a joke (might not believe it, though)
3) run away from home (wouldn't recommend it)
4) move out (money and job required)
5) ask to be sent to some some relative's house in some god forsaken place during the summer (at least you'll get to breathe without being controlled)
6) stay trapped in your room for the rest of your life performing Rapunzel with your parents on a daily basis


P.S. Unless she forces you to be homeschooled, you'll still get to see your friends. Once the summer ends, unfortunately.
P.P.S. Good luck.

Edited 10 months ago (5 times)

Not going to pretend to understand why people feel the need to 'come out', but just move out. Unless you're 14 or under, in which case you have to deal with it because any action made at that age will likely be over-dramatic and rash. You'll see your friends at school if you're young enough to still be going, and if you're older, your mother does not control you.

I'm sure the church and your family wouldn't be too happy about your overdose either so I wouldn't worry too much. It's your choice as to what you will do with your body (if you're of legal age) so I say go ahead if that's what you truly want.

I've read this before. I mean, I'm pretty sure I have 0_o

That's, um.. Cute.

It's your body, OP. Do whatever you want with it. As long as you're old enough, that is.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ugBHxQ0...

(Note: Okay, to anyone who listens to the recordings in my comments: I'm trying to practice my English, so please, tell me if there are any mistakes in my pronunciation.)

Now, I understand how your parents might be against you getting a tattoo, but what has your church got to do with it?
Anyway, if you want to get it, I think it's a good idea. As long as you're recovering and keeping in mind that tattoo itself can't keep you alive. It's only a reminder.